4 Reasons Why People Fear Commitment
Commitment is like the glue that keeps a relationship strong and stable. Without it, it is almost impossible to build a strong & lasting relationship.
As much as it is an act, commitment is also a choice, and many of us are afraid of making the choice to commit into a relationship because of our following fears.
1. FEAR OF THE FUTURE
We are afraid to commit into a relationship because we do not know what will happen in the future.
We do not know whether we will still want the same things, be in the same place, the same financial position or even be the same person we are today.
Well, the fact is that things happen, and things change. No one can predict the future.
But does that really matter?
After all, the whole quest of finding the right life partner is to find someone who accepts who you really are, is compatible with you and is willing to go through all these uncertainties and ups and downs in life together with you.
If you are afraid that you might change, fear not, for being in a relationship is about growing and changing together with your life partner.
If you are afraid that you might want different things in the future, then you will need to do some exploring & soul searching to find out what you really want for yourself and your life and have faith in yourself & your conclusion.
Other than that, as long as you are ready for a relationship (you are comfortable and happy with your own life & are prepared to share your life with someone else) and have found someone who is right for you (by right we really mean right in a sense that your relationship satisfies the 4 Key Ingredients Needed To Build A Successful Relationship), you shouldn’t have to fear the future, for you know that you will do fine as long as you have each other by your side.
2. FEAR OF GETTING HURT
We all fear failure, rejection, betrayal & getting cheated upon. They all hurt us deeply.
However, it doesn’t have to be this way.
All we really need is a few changes to our perspectives and a guide on how to choose someone who is right for us.
Failure & Rejection
To handle failure and rejection, we will have to learn to understand that everyone is unique and amazing in our own ways, and that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
Even if someone is attractive and has good chemistry with us, it does not necessarily mean that they are the right one for us, there are still many things we will have to look into such as compatibility & commitment. Furthermore, attraction & chemistry are subjective in nature, just as how you click with some people better but not others or find some people attractive but not others; it is the same the other way round.
So, if the attraction is not mutual or the both of you turn out to not be compatible, it doesn’t mean that you are a failure or are not good enough, it is simply a case of two amazing individuals who are not compatible romantically.
You are still an awesome and amazing individual and you will eventually find someone who is right for you as long as you keep trying. The key is to keep trying and understand that no matter what you are still an amazing individual.
Betrayal & Getting Cheated On
To reduce the chances of getting betrayed or cheated on, you need to really get to know someone before you decide to commit into a relationship, hence our suggested Relationship & Dating Timeline.
It is impossible to get to know someone over just a few dates, you will need a sufficiently long period of time to really get to know someone and discover whether they are the right partner for you.
So, make sure you spend sufficient time dating someone to get to know them better and look out for any fundamental incompatibilities or whether they have any of the 8 Deadly Traits before committing into a relationship.
If you can do that, you will be able to significantly reduce the chances of you getting hurt in the future.
Furthermore, you should have enough love in your love tank so much so that you have enough to give away unconditionally before even looking to start a relationship. That way, even if a relationship doesn’t work out, you will not feel as hurt because your love tank is still full and your love for them was willing given and unconditional anyway.
3. FEAR OF CHOOSING THE WRONG PERSON
Most of us are afraid because no one ever taught us what to look out for in a life partner and how to choose someone who is right for ourselves.
But not to worry, now you can refer to our guides on how to choose the right life partner to know whether someone is the right one for you.
Just make sure that you spend sufficient time & effort in getting to know them better while looking out for any incompatibilities addressed in our guides before committing into a relationship.
4. FEAR OF TURNING OUT LIKE OUR PARENTS
Some of us grew up in families where our parents did not really love each other but are stuck together in a marriage of hell because of their commitments. Witnessing all the fights and coldness first hand, we slowly grow to fear that we might end up with the same fate as our parents.
Well, for every effect, there must be a cause.
If you’ve read all our relationship guides on how to build a successful relationship & how to choose the right life partner for yourself, you would probably be able to identify the reasons why some relationships turn out the way they do. Their relationship could fall under one of the 8 Types Of Relationships That Won’t Work, one of them might happen to have one of the 8 Deadly Traits, have unresolved Relationship Time Bombs or simply were not ready for a relationship when they entered into one.
But don’t worry if you happen to have such a fear, because your fate will not be the same as theirs as long as you learn how to choose the right & compatible partner for yourself and continue to build your relationship.
If you need a guide, you can keep following us for more relationship tips, guides and tools that will help you find & build strong lasting relationships.
Overcoming The Fear Of Commitment
Once you’ve identified & understood the source of your fear and how to overcome them, you would slowly realize that commitment is not that scary after all.
We hope this article managed to provide some useful insights on the sources of fear and how to overcome them.
“Commitment is like the glue that keeps a relationship strong and stable. Without it, it is almost impossible to build a strong & lasting relationship…”