3 Dangerous Love Myths You Need To Know In Order To Not Get Your Heart Broken
Is everything we know about love true?
Here are 3 dangerous love myths that could save you from heartbreak if you knew them…
1. TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL
While we all secretly wish that this was true, the reality is that true love has the power to conquer many problems in a relationship, but not all of them.
There are some types of relationships with fundamental problems that even true love can’t conquer.
You can try, but there is a very high chance that you will end up getting disappointed or stuck in an unhappy relationship or marriage.
- If I love someone enough, they will eventually change and stop hurting me
Some of us feel that if we show enough love and appreciation for someone, they will stop hurting us (lie, gamble, take drugs, being adulterous, lose their temper etc). But in reality, research has shown that 90% of a person’s character and values are almost firmly rooted in us by the time we turn 19. It would require a life-changing event or an incredible amount of willpower & determination to change certain habits or characteristics.
So, if we keep on believing in the myth that true love can help us magically change a person’s character, there is a high chance we will be disappointed.
- If I love someone enough, I can eventually learn to accept any flaw in a person
Be honest with yourself.
While we are able to make many compromises for a person we love, there will be certain things that we just can’t accept in a life partner. Many of us make the mistake of believing that we can convince ourselves to accept it by learning to love them more, but if we are really honest with ourselves, we will realize that there are some things that we just can’t accept no matter how hard we try.
It can be infidelity, lack of honesty, lack of communication or bad habits. Everyone has a different set of things they can’t accept or tolerate. We have to honestly ask ourselves these questions to prevent us from hurting someone or ourselves.
- It takes more than love & romance to build a happy marriage/relationship
- It needs Compatibility + Commitment
2. YOU’LL KNOW TRUE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
Sometimes we will meet someone and be instantly attracted to them, we will feel butterflies in our stomach along with that heart stopping, lovey-dovey tingling sensation.
However, is that love?
The reality is that true love takes time & effort to develop, that overwhelming heart stopping, lovey-dovey sensation that we experience is most probably just infatuation & chemistry, which is a good thing, and essential for any strong relationship, but it does not necessarily mean that it is love.
The dangers of mistaking infatuation for love:
- It might cause us to blindly fuel a fundamentally problematic relationship solely on a romantic first encounter
- Blind us from realizing that he/she might not be the right/compatible life partner for us
- Cause us to ignore the real problems in the relationship
- Cause us to miss the chance for true lasting love by holding on to a relationship kept alive only by a romantic first encounter
Learn To Distinguish Infatuation From True Love
Although true love can develop from infatuation, that is not always the case. Hence, it is important for us to be able to distinguish between infatuation & true love, which takes time & effort to develop.
It is alright to start dating someone because you are infatuated with them to get to know them better romantically, but make sure that you are not blinded by infatuation alone and remember to focus on getting to know the person better to see if you are compatible & on building the relationship.
There are also many strong loving relationships that started off without that romantic “love at first sight” sensation, they could come naturally later on.
So, take the time to really get to know a potential candidate better and don’t be blinded by infatuation or the lack of infatuation so you don’t miss out on a potential life partner or end up with the wrong person.
3. YOUR TRUE LOVE WILL FULFILL ALL OF YOUR NEEDS
Many of us believe that if we’ve found the right person, our lives will be complete. We will never be lonely anymore, all our needs will be fulfilled and life will be like paradise.
However, the reality is that although a perfect partner would indeed make our lives more complete and fulfill many of our needs and desires, they can never fulfill us completely.
If you go into a relationship because you feel lonely, crave companionship or the need for emotional security, you will likely be left disappointed.
This is because if you go into a relationship solely to fill your need for companionship and emotional security, you are likely to have nothing to offer your partner other than your “neediness”, and this would destroy your relationship because you will constantly be craving for love & affection but have little capacity to give back, and this would cause a strain on your relationship. A healthy relationship would require a healthy & mutual exchange of love & affection.
To fill that emotional gap, you will need to first fill up your love & emotional tank by building a healthy self-esteem or through spiritual fulfillment so that you have so much extra love & happiness that you can’t wait to share them with someone.
Otherwise, if you go into a relationship expecting your partner to fulfill your every need, there is a high chance that you will be disappointed and be left with an even bigger emotional void to fill.
“Love is a magical, beautiful & powerful thing, but not everything we heard about it might be true…”