8 Deadly Traits To Beware Of When Looking For A Life Partner
Although no one is perfect, there are certain traits a person can have that can make life extremely difficult for their life partners.
If you are still searching for the right partner, you might want to consider avoiding people who has any of these traits no matter how attractive they otherwise are.
But of course, the choice is ultimately still yours to make. In any case, we hope that this article will be able to give you an idea as to what you might need to prepare yourself for if you choose to build a relationship with a life partner who has any of these traits.
If you are currently together with someone with the following traits, this article might help you understand some of the root causes of the problems you might have in the relationship and how to overcome them or whether you can truly accept them for who they are.
If you happen to be a person with one of the following traits, it is okay. We understand that nobody is perfect and there must be a reason why some of us acquired such a trait. However, if you really love your life partner, you might want to consider doing something about it to help grow your relationship better either by talking about it or turning to someone who might be able to help.
1. PERPETUALLY ANGRY
It is normal for us to get angry when others have wronged us or when we get disappointed. That is perfectly normal.
However, the anger that we are referring to here is a serious case where someone is always angry and resentful. They feel as if the whole world owes them something and are always angry at almost everything and anything in life.
They often erupt into a fireball without any warning and can be angry at almost anything as if they are constantly looking for a reason to be angry. Sometimes, they might even throw things around or hurt others physically in the process.
If you find a life partner who has an anger problem, you will have to be prepared to live beside a volcano and still be able to love them for who they are. You might have to live in constant fear because you do not know when they would erupt into anger again.
2. VICTIM CONSCIOUS & CONSTANTLY BLAMING OTHERS
People who are victim conscious usually will not accept responsibility for the things that they have done. They will always feel that it was someone else’s fault and that they are always the victim.
In a way, they might secretly enjoy suffering because they get attention when people pity them. They feel a sense of security in painting themselves out as a victim.
If you find a partner who is victim conscious, you might find yourself frustrated at the fact that you will be the one that will take the blame for anything that goes wrong, or that your partner will never own up to their own mistakes to do something about it.
3. CONTROL FREAK
People who are control freaks usually only feel secure when they are in control of the situation. They usually have trouble trusting others. They tend to also face problems in handling kids because it is hard to control children and can get frustrated easily. They might also become easily jealous or over-protective in the relationship.
If your partner is a control freak, it can be very hard for them to trust you, which is a problem because trust is essential for any relationship to work.
4. SEXUAL INFIDELITY
Someone who is sexually immoral might have an addiction to sex or a lack of integrity (within the context of a relationship). Unless you can tolerate a life partner who sleeps around with other people, it is going to be hard for you to trust them and build a strong relationship.
5. HASN’T GROWN UP
We all age, but not all of us grow up.
Someone who hasn’t grown up is usually afraid of taking on any responsibility. They would usually only think about themselves and would choose to ignore the consequences of their actions because they know there is always someone they can turn to for help.
If your partner hasn’t grown up, they might grow to over rely on you. After a while, you might find that you are babysitting a kid instead of being in a relationship with a life partner. A life partner should be someone whom you can treat as an equal, share your responsibilities with and grows together with you, and not a kid whom you have to pamper and babysit all the time.
6. EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE
Some people are extremely afraid of opening up themselves to others. For some reason, they are afraid to communicate their feelings or simply do not know how to. Most of the time, they would simply shut everyone out, especially so when they are going through a hard time.
If your partner is emotionally unavailable, you will have a hard time sharing your joys and sorrows with them, or even trying to care for them. This is because you have to spend so much effort just to get them to open their hearts to you, and they might still shut you out in the end.
Our life partners are also called our soul mates for a reason, because we are supposed to share our emotions and soul with each other and go through life together. But if your life partner is emotionally unavailable, it might feel like you are living with a rock, and that can be very taxing and frustrating the more you love them and try to care for them.
7. HASN’T RECOVERED FROM PAST RELATIONSHIPS
If your life partner hasn’t recovered from a previous relationship, they might not be ready to love you with all their heart. Their love tank might not be full and ready to love again at the moment or might still belong to someone else.
If your partner hasn’t recovered from past relationships, you might just be someone who could temporarily fill the huge empty space in their hearts left by their previous relationships. Maybe it is not time yet, maybe you should let them heal their wounds before trying to build a relationship together with them.
8. EMOTIONALLY DAMAGED FROM CHILDHOOD
Unfortunately, some of us had to go through a dark childhood that might have involved sexual or physical abuse.
It is unfortunate, but if someone is emotionally damaged from childhood and has not found a way to move on from it positively, there might always be a dark shadow from their past that might prevent them from accepting or loving someone romantically.
Don’t Judge, But You Don’t Have To Go On A Rescue Mission
Everyone is the way they are for a reason, and hence we should not judge.
As friends and fellow human beings, we should accept them for who they are.
However, when it comes to choosing a life partner, we will have to honestly ask ourselves whether we are prepared to go through the challenges that might ensue if we choose a partner with any of the above traits. If you honestly believe that you are prepared for it, then by all means go ahead. But if you are not, don’t force yourself or commit yourself to a rescue mission.
Fortunately, there must be a reason why people acquire the above traits. Nobody is naturally born with the above traits. It could be due to what they have gone through or how they reacted to certain events. Everyone has their own story. If they can identify the reason why they acquired the above traits, sometimes all it takes is a little change in perspective to change someone’s outlook on life and behavior, and become much better partners for their soul mates.
“Nobody is perfect. Everyone is the way they are for a reason, and hence we should not judge. But we should also be honest with ourselves and our life partners and strive to be the best we can be for each other…”